1. Curly hair doesn’t exist
- If you can see curly hair you are 3% of the population who sees it due to an eye deficiency. Your wee also smells of asparagus 67% of the time.
2. People with curly hair can’t bleed
- There is so much curly hair under the surface of a curly haired persons skin that it soaks up any fluid immediately. Straight-haired people are 97% water. Curly tops are 100% hair (curly)
3. The curls are created in the spleen
- It grows out from there, up through the heart, lungs, female foof and male tail, eventually working its way up and out of the head bit.
4. The spleen bone is attached to the thigh bone (in curly haired people)
- Whereas in people with straight hair the thigh bone is connected to the knee bone. Like in the song.
5. Curly haired people can understand dolphins
- The spring effect of the hair acts like sonar if tuned to the right frequency (106 fm)
6. Curls are un-breakable
- Go on. Try it. Next time you “see” a curly haired person, try and break their hair.
7. Curly hair was invented by Romans
- As a weapon. They would tie it to their heads in great swathes and use it as a make-shift net.
8. If a shark sees curly hair it faints
- Which is why deep sea divers take a lock of curly hair with them on long expeditions. It’s like Superman’s kryptonite. A Vampires garlic. Or a midgets pickled egg.