Despite what economists would have us believe, ten pounds has now been confirmed by another expert faction – Bus Drivers – as “more money than [they] can handle.”
Bus Drivers everywhere are struggling to comprehend the excessive wealth of their passengers these days. As more and more members of the public try to pay with notes the ire of those receiving the cash is becoming all too obvious.
“The bourgeois decadence of these people is beyond belief,” said one driver I interviewed. “I mean they hand me over a ten pound note and expect me to do something with it. The cheeky bastards. If they’ve got so much money they should get a chauffeur. What do they think I’m doing here? Running a public service?!”
When I called into question the inflated fares these days and that you don’t get much change from a tenner, the challenge was dodged somewhat: “If you haven’t got less than a tenner you can’t get on.”
This driver refused to respond at all when I asked if he accepted Apple Pay. Then when he saw me looking inside my wallet: “Hang on…is that a book of stamps in there? You can pay with them.”
Ricky Gervais has a lot to answer for.
Come back tomorrow for part 2 in this expose: Pensioner tries to use bus pass at 8.55 and fails.