Crisis for independent retailers following adjective mix up

Breaking news update to our previous article below:

Frozen dairy product lovers everywhere rejoiced today when the world ran out of gelato. Now we can all start eating ice-cream again.

Fossgate Studios

Independent coffee shops, delicatessens, clothing specialists and pubs were at loggerheads today as they quarreled over who had the rights to use previously allocated describing words.

This dictionary turf war began due to a mix up over the use of the word: artisan. 

“I’ve been selling artisan bread in my cafe for at least 5 months now,” said Jeremy Piper, owner of Harrogate based eatery Truffle and Pumpkin. “Then I saw blackboards cropping up all over town claiming to sell Artisan coffee. It’s just not right.”

According to a spokesperson at the Oxford Dictionary nobody knows the correct application of the word artisan anymore. “Even we’re struggling with this one,” they added. “The records are unclear about bread and coffee.” 

If this artisan debacle is a barometer for future arguments then chief editors of dictionary publishers will be silently hoping that nobody challenges the ownership of the word vintage.  This…

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