Here’s the deal – #Eurovision novel epilogue


It’s taken a little while to get over the disappointment.  It’s taken some time for me to think about the wordage to use.  It’s taken me some time to use “wordage” in a sentence.  But my final thoughts on the Greece victory are in.

On the night, I was fuming and angry, but having scanned the songs and the final table again, my view has slanted.  It’s easy to think with bias that Taurus were funk-tastic and after a few Stellas shout “BULLSHIIIIIIT”.  But in the cold light of day, all four of the Big Four finished in the bottom four of the competition.  That’s quite incredible from an overall line-up in the final of nineteen countries. 

I’m grown up enough to admit that whilst political voting plays a part, it doesn’t make a winner on its own.  No, what niggles most is that the top ten was actually made up of decent songs, and most songs ended up where they should have been, with few exceptions.

The problem remains the selection processes of the Big Four for their entries in the contest.  Songs that do well are either from stars, funny, simply great songs or ideally a bit of each.  With Taurus, Spain had selected a band that were rising stars in America.  That’s not going to help get you the votes unless you’re popular in Europe too.  Although Sweet Spanish Hunchback has a funny title, I don’t think many people get it.  Lyrical intricacies just don’t come across when there’s a language barrier.  And therefore Spain were missing some vital ingredients.

It’s strange how the UK never fulfil the criteria correctly either.  We enter songs that people who care about music see as stupid songs to a stupid contest, negating great songs, and songs that people with a sense of humour won’t enter because they think it won’t win.

To me the answer is to either pull out of the Big Four and take a chance in the semi, or take an interest in the contest and enter something with a point.  But whatever the stance, the blame for another failure rests with the selectors.  Looking at the table; not just Eastern Europe voted.

Very rarely does a song that doesn’t deserve to win claim victory.  Here’s my final point to the UK, get your ass in gear and enter a KICK ASS song.  Dous points…me.

At least Taurus finished highest out of the Big Four!  The Taurus guys came to terms with the overall result a lot quicker than I did I can tell you.

So what next for Ashley, Patrick and Robert?  Their biggest audience continues to be the American audience.  Of the huge numbers of downloads they’re getting every month, the vast majority are from America.  Wow.  I’d have never have thought it considering how Euro-centric we’ve all been.  We talk about Eurovision quite a lot don’t we?!  We have done yes. 

Our American knowledge is growing steadily now though.  Considering that everything from before was basically derived from Alien films.  I used to assume that everyone from America goes round saying “stay frosty people” and creating alien life form based super soldiers.   Actually, it is a bit like that.  Or is that mainly California I’m thinking of?  Maybe it’s just LA. 

We’re getting off the subject again though.  Let me fill you in on something else that has happened recently.  Due to its success in America, At Your Leisure has been bought by Channel Four in Britain.  Off the back of this, seizing another opportunity for cash in, Project Y Records re-packaged the Greatest Hits as Snapshots, just like it was released in America. 

From York to New York via Kiev, Taurus were not about to forget their roots.  Remember Gary Barlow’s advice from earlier?  This means that frequent trips across the pond seem to be the shape of things to come.  And me?  Well I’m just happy to go along for the ride.

So that’s it until the next time we debrief soldier!  Now hit those European beers and give me twenty!


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